The Little Mer-British Girl part 16 - "Kiss the Girl"
(Later that evening, Wart and Alice are sitting in a rowboat on the lake.) *Edmond/Flounder: Move over! Move your big feathers! I can't see a thing. *Dodo/Scuttle: Nothing is happening! Only one day left, and that boy ain't puckered up once! O.K., all right, this calls for a little vocal romantic stimulation. Stand back. (He lands on a tree branch and starts to sing horribly.) *Wart/Eric: Wow. Somebody should find that poor animal and put it out of its misery. (Alice looks up at the Dodo, who gives her the "OK" hand signal as he continues to sing. Then she puts her face in her own hands in frustration.) (Meanwhile, Squidward is on the edge of the rowboat, tentacles over his ears, if he has any.) *Squidward/Sebastian: Jeez, man, I'm surrounded by amateurs! (He dives into the water and takes out a stick that seemed to be under the water.) You want something done, you've got to do it yourself. (Squidward pops out of the water with a piece of what came from a cattail stick.) *Squidward/Sebastian: First, we got to create the mood. (spoken) Percussion? (The ducks bang on the turtles' bellies as if they were drums.) Strings. (The crickets rubs their legs together.) Winds! (Cattails blow in the breeze.) Words. (singing) There you see her Sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say But there's something about her (Cut to Alice, who is looking peaceful, but gasps to see that something is on a blade of grass.) *Squidward/Sebastian: And you don't know why (He and the blade of grass bend over so that he could whisper in Wart's ear) But you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl (He and a blade of grass are being flung backwards.) *Wart/Eric: Did you hear something? (Alice shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head.) *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: (singing) Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Possible she wants you too There is one way to ask her It don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl *Squidward/Sebastian: (spoken) Sing with me now. *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Sha la la la la la My, oh my Looks like the boy's too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl Sha la la la la la (Cut to Squidward sitting on a turtle's shell with two pelicans looking sad.) *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Ain't that sad? (The turtle's head rises out of the water.) *Squidward/Sebastian: Ain't it a shame? Too bad He gonna miss the girl (Cut to Wart and Alice, who are still riding in the rowboat.) *Wart/Eric: You know, I feel really bad about not knowing your name. Maybe I could guess. Is it Eliza? (Alice makes a disgusted face as Wart laughs.) *Wart/Eric: O.K., no. How about Emma? Maggie? *Squidward/Sebastian: Alice. Her name is Alice. *Wart/Eric: Alice? (Alice nods vigorously) Alice? That's kinda pretty. O.K., Alice. (Now the two go into a lagoon as two storks open the entrance.) *Squidward/Sebastian: (singing) Now's your moment *Back-up Singers: Ya-ya-ya *Squidward/Sebastian: Floating in a blue lagoon *Back-up Singers: Ya-ya-ya (The storks close the entrance to the lagoon. Then, cut to the shadow of Wart and Alice.) *Squidward/Sebastian: Boy, you better do it soon No time will be better (Three fish jump out of the water.) *Chorus: Ya-ya-ya *Squidward/Sebastian: She don't say a word And she won't say a word Until you kiss the girl (Additional sea creatures cheer excitedly.) *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Sha la la la la la Don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl *Back-up Singers: Whoa, whoa! *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Sha la la la la la Don't stop now Don't try to hide it how You wanna kiss the girl (Two fish pop up out of the pelicans' lower beaks.) *Back-up Singers: Whoa, whoa! (As the flamigoes sing, the Dodo jumps right in front of them and joins them. But they shut him up so they could continue singing.) *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Sha la la la la la Float along And listen to the song The song say kiss the girl (Now, Edmond and the other kittens spit water around Wart and Alice as if they were creating a fountain.) *Back-up Singers: Whoa, whoa! *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Sha la la la la The music play Do what the music say You got to kiss the girl (Birds are chirping excitedly, as the flamingoes and frogs make kissy faces. Even the ducks are excited.) *Squidward/Sebastian and Chorus: Kiss the girl You wanna kiss the girl You've gotta kiss the girl GO ON AND Kiss the girl (Out of the blue, the boat tips over, and both Wart and Alice fall into the lake.) (The flamingoes and birds fly away in alarm while Squidward slaps his palm against his face.) *Wart/Eric: Whoa! Hang on, I've gotcha.